Bubble Witch 2 Saga

From the makers of Candy Crush, here’s your latest iteration of mobile crack cocaine. Bubble Witch Saga 2 is proof that King has perfected the process of creating hopeless app addicts.

Step 1

Revamp an old game that most people are familiar with. Just as Candy Crush was a sugary knock off of Bejeweled, Bubble Witch is that oldie where you shoot colored balls at other colored balls. You can bounce them off the walls or the top, but the goal is to eliminate all the balls by making monochromatic strings of three or more. No one knows the origin of this game. I first saw it on a Hoyle card games cd-rom for Windows 98, it went by Racer Tracer back then and you can be sure it wasn’t the first of it’s kind.

bubble 2

Step 2

Combine impossible levels with limited tries. This is where King clearly invested in R&D. Their scientists have somehow formulated the perfected arrangement of easy and hard levels so that as soon as your confidence is high and the game is fun, you hit the level that cannot be beaten. You know it can’t be beaten because you’ve tried a hundred times. You waste your five lives and then wait the thirty five minutes for more lives. And then you get impatient so you shed your shame and ask all your Facebook friends to get the game so you can wallow in the addiction together and send each other lives. Finally, the scientists step in again because they know your breaking point. When the sane part of your mind decides, “this is the last game, I’m quitting forever if I don’t win this game,” by some divine intervention the balls fall into place and you are allowed to move on to the easy levels that rebuild your confidence. Now that you’ve afflicted all your friends with the curse, the cycle starts over.

Step 3

Create some cutesy, colorful theme that appeals to wide audiences. The game itself is enough to keep you playing, but bright colors and obnoxious characters are necessary to attract the target audiences. Who cares about the theme anyway? My mom does, because she likes to empathize with the cute young witch. And my baby cousin who can’t talk, but somehow owns an iPad, needs to save the puppies from the scary bubbles. Brilliant marketing by King, knowing that my mom’s disposable income and lack of Facebook are the perfect combo for unnecessary in-app spending on additional lives.

The Good

  • Enough levels to keep you busy
  • Classic gameplay that combines skill and luck
  • You get to feel like a little girl playing a girly girl game

The Bad

  • Limited lives means you can’t binge
  • You get to feel like a little girl playing a girly girl game

Rating

4/10

I would wholeheartedly recommend you don’t get this game. But I would have said the same thing about Candy Crush and we all know how big that game got. It’s simple and addicting and anyone can play it. The theme makes me want to puke, but to each his own, I guess.

-Kenny

play store

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